Cosmic Crash Read online

  For Zac, with love ~ L A C

  For Dom ~ J D

  CONTENTS

  Title Page

  Dedication

  MEET THE SPACE PENGUINS…

  INTRODUCTION

  1. BATTLE STATIONS!

  2. ICE RAYS AND COCONUT FISH

  3. SQUID FIGHT

  4. THE HUNT

  5. CHASE THROUGH THE WAVES

  6. UH-OH!

  7. A VERY BIG BANG

  8. THE BIG ONE

  POSTSCRIPT

  SAMPLE CHAPTER: GALAXY RACE!

  Copyright

  CAPTAIN:

  Captain T. Krill

  Emperor penguin

  Height: 1.10m

  Looks: yellow ear patches and noble bearing

  Likes: swordfish minus the sword

  Lab tests: showed leadership qualities in fish challenge

  Guaranteed to: keep calm in a crisis

  FIRST MATE:

  Beaky Wader, now known as Dark Wader

  Emperor penguin

  Height: 1.22m

  Looks: yellow ear patches and evil laugh

  Likes: prawn pizzas

  Lab tests: cheated at every challenge

  Guaranteed to: cause trouble

  PILOT (WITH NO SENSE OF DIRECTION):

  Rocky Waddle

  Rockhopper penguin

  Height: 45cm

  Looks: long yellow eyebrows

  Likes: mackerel ice cream

  Lab tests: fastest slider in toboggan challenge Guaranteed to: speed through an asteroid belt while reading charts upside-down

  SECURITY OFFICER AND HEAD CHEF:

  Fuzz Allgrin

  Little Blue penguin

  Height: 33cm

  Looks: small with fuzzy blue feathers

  Likes: fishfingers in cream and truffle sauce

  Lab tests: showed creativity and aggression in ice-carving challenge

  Guaranteed to: defend ship, crew and kitchen with his life

  SHIP’S ENGINEER:

  Splash Gordon

  King penguin

  Height: 95cm

  Looks: orange ears and chest markings

  Likes: squid

  Lab tests: solved ice-cube challenge in under four seconds

  Guaranteed to: fix anything

  Welcome aboard the Spaceship Tunafish, home to my crew, the Space Penguins. I am ICEcube, the super-brainy computer aboard this spacecraft. I can take you anywhere you want to go.

  Except Earth. Sorry. We lost Earth five years ago on the penguins’ first space mission. My database says: eek! What was NASA thinking? Penguins in space was never going to work. They may be small and cheap to train, but they aren’t the best astronauts in the world.

  However, it’s not all bad news. Since we lost Earth, the Space Penguins have become intergalactic heroes.

  Fuzz Allgrin, the Chef and Security Officer, brought peace between the planets Burga and Chipz by introducing them to ketchup.

  Splash Gordon, the Ship’s Engineer, stopped the black hole named Hoova from sucking up Planet Sok by showing them where the “off” button was.

  And even Rocky Waddle, the pilot with no sense of direction, flew quickly through the millions of aisles on planet

  Supamarkit, although he got lost on its moon, Supamarkit Ka-park.

  What about Captain T. Krill? Well, he captained them in every one of their incredible missions. His bravery in space is legendary.

  Right now, the main problem the Space Penguins face is their former first mate – Beaky Wader. He’s turned into their mortal enemy. In fact, he’s just sent a fleet of Squid-G fighter spacecraft to teach them a lesson after they managed to escape his Death Starfish. I’d better let Captain Krill know.

  Buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

  WHEEP! WHEEP! WHEEP!

  The alarms aboard the Spaceship Tunafish were going crazy. Lights were flashing everywhere.

  “What’s going on, ICEcube?” said Captain Krill, waddling out of his ice bath.

  “Nothing too serious, Captain,” said ICEcube. “Just fifty Squid-G fighters approaching at five hundred thousand light years per hour.”

  “Fifty Squid-G fighters and you say it’s nothing serious?” gasped the captain as he dried his yellow ear patches with a towel. “Beaky Wader’s the only guy in space who owns Squid-Gs. But we’re three million light years away from his space station!”

  Splash Gordon looked up from tinkering with his latest invention – a long, tube-like thing with a trigger. “Then Beaky must be tracking us somehow,” he said.

  “I’d say that was pretty serious,” said Rocky Waddle from his pilot’s chair.

  Fuzz Allgrin came out of the kitchen. “Too right it’s serious,” he said. “The alarm system has shut down my oven. It’s cold mackerel for us today.”

  “Yum!” said Rocky, cheering up. “I never liked hot food.”

  “So how long have we got until they attack, ICEcube?” Captain Krill asked.

  “Ten seconds, Captain. Nine … eight …”

  “Into your seats, crew,” Captain Krill ordered. “Rocky? Warp speed away. We can’t fight fifty of them. We’ll just have to run.”

  “Fuzz Allgrin never runs from anyone!” said Fuzz.

  “Seven … six … five …”

  “That’s because you’re a Little Blue penguin. Your legs are too short,” said Rocky.

  “Four … three … two … one…”

  ZZZZOOOOMMMM! The Tunafish whipped away at full throttle. The penguins were flattened to their seats.

  “Yahoo!” Rocky yelled, his yellow eyebrows whistling behind him like ribbons. “Bring it on!”

  As the Tunafish whizzed past planets and asteroids, comets and meteors, the silver Squid-Gs spread out behind them across the black sky.

  “More speed, Rocky,” Captain Krill ordered from his seat. “They’re gaining on us.”

  “How fast are they going, ICEcube?” asked Splash.

  “Five hundred thousand and three light years exactly…”

  The Tunafish dived and swerved, hurtling between moons and looping-the-loop around comets. But still the Squid-Gs gave chase through the Milky Way.

  A large meteor plunged towards them.

  “Rocky!” cried Fuzz. “You’re steering straight towards that meteor!”

  “Yeah, and isn’t it fun?” said Rocky happily. “Hold on tight!”

  He pulled the joystick with one flipper and the brake with the other. The Tunafish spun like a ballerina on ice, zooming up and sideways all at the same time. But was it too late?

  “Holy mackerel!” cried Fuzz. “We’re going to crash!”

  The Tunafish leaped upwards at the very last second … and the meteor zoomed harmlessly underneath it. Now the giant space rock was heading for the Squid-Gs at thousands of kilometres per second.

  “I hate to say it, but don’t look now!” cried Splash as…

  BANG! BOOM!

  Behind them, Squid-Gs collided head-on with the meteor.

  “I feel sick,” moaned Fuzz as the Tunafish pelted on. “When is this going-fast thing going to stop?”

  On they raced. Rocky’s flippers were a blur at the controls. The Tunafish jumped like a gazelle, thundered like a waterfall, twisted like a disco dancer. Stars blurred into streaks of light. Planets whizzed by like brightly coloured bouncy balls.

  “We must have lost them by now,” said Captain Krill.

  Rocky pulled the joystick towards his beak and the whole spaceship rocketed upwards. The universe turned sideways for several sickening seconds. “Nope,” he gasped, glancing at his screen. “They’re still with us.”

  “Squid-Gs closing faster than ever,” said ICEcube. “Five seconds until impact. Four. Three…”

 
A space cannonball was speeding towards them.

  BOOOOM!

  The Tunafish turned upside-down as the cannonball blasted past and exploded. The air rippled and shook.

  BOOOOM! BOOOOM!

  Two more cannonballs. Rocky swung the joystick so sharply that the whole spaceship did a somersault. Fuzz groaned.

  BOOOOOOM!

  Even Rocky was starting to sweat now.

  “I don’t think I can keep this up, Captain,” he gasped. “There are just too many of them!”

  The Tunafish’s engine suddenly stalled. There was a ghastly silence. Then the spacecraft started spinning uncontrollably.

  “AAARRGGH!” the penguins screamed as they plunged.

  They fell and fell until they couldn’t see the Squid-Gs any more. A planet of some kind seemed to be appearing beneath them.

  “The engine’s completely dead, Captain,” cried Rocky as they plummeted. “All we can do now is hope to come out of this alive.”

  “ICEcube?” gasped Captain Krill. “What are our chances?”

  “Zero, Captain.”

  “Comforting,” said Splash.

  “I don’t care,” Fuzz croaked. “I just want this to stop!”

  The planet was getting closer. It was wide and purple and completely flat.

  “Coming in to land!” shouted Rocky.

  The Space Penguins braced themselves for impact.

  They skidded and swerved before plunging into something. The Tunafish ploughed along, sending up sheets of purple liquid. At last it came to a stop. Silence fell.

  “Your chances of survival just improved,” said ICEcube. “This planet appears to be made of water!”

  “I think you can safely say we just splash-landed,” said Rocky, looking all around him.

  “Big wow,” said Fuzz weakly.

  A purple-coloured ocean stretched away in all directions. Little lilac waves lapped against the sides of the Tunafish as it bobbed around. Two yellow suns bathed the surface of the water.

  “Where are we?” said Captain Krill. “I can’t see any land.” He peered through the windscreen. “Do you think this place is just one big purple ocean?”

  “I didn’t know you could get planets just made out of water,” said Splash. “But it certainly looks that way.”

  “Thank goodness we aren’t sinking,” said Fuzz. “We’d be in a whole LOT of trouble then.”

  At that moment, everyone felt the Tunafish shudder. The nose of the spaceship tilted. Water started rising towards the windscreen.

  “Yikes!” Rocky cried. “We are sinking!”

  “We have to leave!” said Captain Krill. “Now!”

  “Never!” shouted Fuzz. “I LOVE the Tunafish. Plus I’ve got mackerel in the freezer!”

  “That’s an order, Fuzz,” said Captain.

  There was nothing else that they could do. The Tunafish was sliding – smoothly, slowly, and definitely deeper – down into the purple sea. It slid faster as the water began to seep through the doors and windows. Then faster still.

  “We have to get out of here!” cried Splash.

  “But we can’t turn our backs on ICEcube!” protested Rocky.

  “Don’t worry. We’ll return,” said Captain Krill.

  “Promise?” said Fuzz.

  “I promise,” said Captain Krill.

  “Abandon ship, crew!”

  “The Fuzzmeister lives to fight another day!” shouted Fuzz as the Space Penguins raced to escape. “Open the door, Rocky. Quick!”

  “It’s stuck!” yelled Rocky, heaving at the door of the Tunafish. The water was rising all the time. “We can’t get out! We’re doomed!”

  “You’re turning the handle the wrong way!” said Splash.

  “It won’t work the other way either,” said ICEcube. “The water pressure is too strong. You have precisely 3.4 seconds left to escape. You need to think of something.”

  “Let’s kick down the door!” commanded Captain Krill. “On the count of three. One … two … THREE!”

  The four Space Penguins flung themselves at the exit hatch. It burst open and water gushed inside in a great purple waterfall. The penguins surfed out of the cabin with their flippers close to their bodies and their feet paddling like crazy. Freedom!

  “We’ll be back, ICEcube,” cried Rocky over his shoulder. “This isn’t the end! Believe in the penguins!”

  As the water carried them away, the Tunafish sank further into the cool depths. It spiralled away beneath the swimming penguins, down and down and down into the murky depths.

  “Did you see how deep it was under there?” Captain Krill gasped as he and Splash bobbed up to the surface. “If the Tunafish sinks right to the bottom, we’ll never raise her up again!”

  “Then we’ll be stuck on this planet forever,” said Splash.

  “Any bright ideas?” said Captain Krill.

  “We could build a winch to pull the Tunafish up,” said Splash, as Rocky and Fuzz burst out of the water beside them. “I have all the equipment I need, right here on…”

  He stopped.

  “Were you going to say, ‘the Tunafish’?” said Captain Krill.

  Splash nodded. All four penguins looked gloomily down into the waves below.

  “Ah,” said Captain Krill.

  “It could be a problem,” agreed Splash.

  “There is some good news, though,” said Fuzz.

  “Is the Tunafish floating up again?” asked the Captain hopefully.

  “Nope.” Fuzz waved a fish over his head. “But I have dinner. A mackerel. It escaped from the sinking ship with me.”

  A few more things bobbed up beside the Space Penguins. A couple of bazooka-blammers. Some string. A balloon left over from a birthday party. Another mackerel and a pair of Splash’s welding goggles.

  “Can you build anything with this lot, Splash?” asked the Captain.

  “A heavily armed flying fish?” Splash suggested.

  “What good would that be?” said Rocky.

  “Er … none at all,” said Splash.

  The Space Penguins zoomed under the water again to see where the Tunafish had ended up. The deeper they swam, the darker it became. Captain Krill was right. This purple alien ocean was very deep indeed.

  What was that? Suddenly Captain Krill glimpsed the silvery tail fin of something. Was it their spaceship? His heart soared as he darted towards it and the others followed.

  Sure enough, it was the Tunafish, resting on a stony ridge about fifty metres below the surface. Around it, the water dropped away into deep blackness. If the spacecraft had sunk just a little to the left or the right, she would have been lost forever! It was a horrible thought.

  Back at the surface, the penguins exchanged high-flippers.

  “We’ll have to go back down, get inside the Tunafish and fetch Splash’s equipment,” said Captain Krill. “You said you could build a winch, didn’t you, Splash?”

  Splash nodded.

  “I knew this story wasn’t over yet,” said Rocky.

  As the Space Penguins zigzagged back down through the purple ocean, a shoal of brightly coloured alien fish with big blue eyes appeared, following them curiously. It was the first sign of life that the penguins had seen.

  When they found the Tunafish again, the penguins collected everything they could lay their flippers on. There were blue-eyed fish everywhere now, swimming around the penguins in brightly coloured clouds.

  “What did you get?” Splash asked as they finally reached the surface.

  “Four spanners and a welding torch,” said Captain Krill.

  “Three coils of steel rope and a mouthful of alien fish,” said Fuzz.

  “Did they taste nice?” asked the captain.

  “Kind of. If you like coconut,” said Fuzz.

  A fluffy toy bear in a large block of ice bobbed up beside Rocky.

  “That’s Dave, my favourite teddy!” Rocky said. He didn’t look happy. “What’s he doing inside a block of ice?”

  �
�Maybe he’s a polar bear,” suggested Fuzz.

  “Ha ha, NOT,” said Rocky crossly.

  Fuzz handed over a long tube thing with a trigger. “Maybe it’s something to do with this? I found it on your workbench, Splash.”

  “My new ice ray!” said Splash. “I tested it on Dave this morning.”

  Rocky was horrified. “You did?”

  The Space Penguins looked at the iced-up Dave.

  “I did,” said Splash happily. “And it worked brilliantly.”

  “You…! I can’t BELIEVE you ice-rayed Dave!” said Rocky.

  “You have to make sacrifices for science, Rocky,” said Splash. “While the rest of you head back to the Tunafish to get more equipment, I’ll stay here and make us an ice floe. We need somewhere to live.”

  “Good plan,” said Captain Krill.

  Rocky, Captain Krill and Fuzz darted back to the Tunafish through a vast shoal of the blue-eyed alien fish. It was easier working on a full stomach, so they ate while they were there.

  “Those fish are very easy to catch,” said the captain as they bobbed up again. “It’s just a shame they taste of coconut.”

  “I quite like it,” said Rocky. “There’s lots of them swimming around those big vents in the ridge. I’m going to catch some more.”

  He swam down again. Moments later, a blast of boiling hot water exploded from one of the vents and burned him on the bottom.

  “Flipping flounders!” Rocky yelled, whooshing out of the water like a rocket. “Those fish must be fireproof! Where’s Dave? I need to sit on him for a bit!”

  On their third trip down to fetch equipment from the Tunafish, the Space Penguins noticed something strange. There were thousands of alien fish one minute, but then there were hardly any the next. It was as if someone had clicked their fingers and made them vanish.

  Then they saw why.

  Something huge … something white … something VERY scary was swimming towards them. It had more tentacles than they could count. Its belly pulsed and glowed. Its tiny purple piggy eyes boggled. It was hideous, and it was moving at high speed. It looked like a giant squid!